Although my wife, Faith [(Haines ’84 & ’87) Husler] and I are both LBC graduates from the ‘80s, the fact that neither of us ended up in “full-time Christian service” has often left me wondering where I messed up and missed God’s will for my life. It seems that where “life” takes me is often not where I am expecting, or wanting, to go. Or as the renowned theologian, John Lennon, is credited with saying, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”
I became a Christian at a young age and grew up in a little country church where I was taught things like the gap theory of creation and that modern translations of the Bible are bad. LBC provided a much better foundation for my faith and encouraged me to be more deeply committed to God. So sometime toward the end of my four years, I made the “mistake” of telling God that I would “go anywhere and do anything” for Him!
Faith (Haines ’84 & ’87) and Dean (’84) Husler enjoy a trip back to their alma mater in 2019.
I call that a “mistake” because I assumed that meant being a pastor or going to the mission field. For some reason, God had this really outrageous plan of sending me to North Carolina to operate a forklift! At the time I made that commitment, I never dreamed that a part-time job on a truck dock would turn into a full-time job that would take me out of my home state and turn into the career from which I just retired. And if you look closely at the 1984 LBC yearbook, you’ll see that my senior class voted me least likely to survive 30 years of manual labor in a macho environment!
One of the blessings from that unlikely path was an above-average income that enabled Faith to become a stay-at-home mom and to homeschool our two boys. Even so, we had to be quite frugal with our finances, and I kept hoping Faith would eventually return to work. When we sent our oldest son, Justin, to a Christian school for ninth grade, I encouraged Faith to find a part-time job to help finance the endeavor. Unfortunately, she was spending a considerable amount of time driving both boys to and from schools that were only about a half hour away, but in opposite directions! So, instead of returning to work, she returned to homeschooling the following year.
An earlier attempt to explore an alternative to homeschooling was when we put in an application for Justin to attend a charter school for sixth grade. There were 18 applicants but only 10 or 12 openings. The school used a lottery system, drawing names out of a hat to determine which applicants would be offered the available slots. None of us were sure we wanted to go this route even if offered one of the openings, so I did the “fleece of Gideon” thing and asked God to reveal His will through the lottery.
A week or so later, we were informed that Justin’s name was drawn dead last—18th out of 18! A few more weeks later, the school called again and said there were more openings and Justin could come after all. Faith happily replied, “No thanks, I’ve already started planning our sixth-grade homeschool curriculum!”
Our younger son, Jeremy, took a completely different educational path before ending up in homeschooling. Because he was diagnosed with mild-to-moderate autism at an early age, we were encouraged to get him into school as soon as possible. This head start resulted in three years of pre-kindergarten, kindergarten itself and then three more years before he stopped cooperating and simply refused to do any sort of work at school. The noncompliance continued at home, and I was amazed at how Faith was somehow able to persevere. I saw little progress but reasoned that if Jeremy wasn’t going to learn anything anyway, he would probably be better off “not learning” at home!
Parenting a special-needs child is not something I would have “signed up for” or chosen for myself. I tend to see it as more of a burden than a blessing. Nonetheless, I am slowly becoming a better dad now that I am no longer an “essential worker” putting in a lot of mandatory overtime. Among other things, being retired means that I have the time and energy to attend group activities in which Jeremy participates. I have especially enjoyed HorsePOWER [Therapeutic Learning Center in High Point, N.C.] where Jeremy and three of his special-needs friends get weekly horseback riding lessons. I also get to attend softball games, where Jeremy plays, and football and basketball games, where Jeremy is on the cheerleading squad.
The Husler family in 2010.
As you can tell, this kid has quite an active and well-rounded social life that gets his introverted Dad out of the house as well! Interacting with other parents at these events often serves as an informal therapy session that makes special needs parenting seem normal. And it is hard not to be humbled and amazed by many of the volunteers and career professionals who have chosen to work with special needs individuals because of a genuine desire to be a blessing—or perhaps they’ve discovered something not quite so obvious to most of us.
In all honesty, I’ve never been much of a Beatles fan. I actually find Lennon’s observations on life far inferior to those of King Solomon who said, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Proverbs 16:9, NIV). Looking back, I realize that while I have often felt pitifully unable to control the direction of my life, God has always been in control, and I have been extremely blessed.
One final example of God giving me what I needed rather than what I was looking for is in the area of marriage. In our fallen natures, the biblical concept of “headship” is contrary to the leaning of both genders. Reflecting on my dating years, I, like many guys, wasn’t looking for someone I could lead but a goddess or mother-substitute who could lead me. I am so thankful to have ended up with a former LBC friend and classmate whose sweet, gentle spirit has been an obvious blessing to myself and both our boys!